Sunday, July 06, 2008
I want a job
according to MY plan, i was going to graduate in August of next year (2009). That plan required me to take 4 classes this summer, 5 in the fall, 5 in the spring, and 4 next summer. if i drop even one class, it will push graduation back to December of 2009. Tomorrow, begins a summer session where i am scheduled to take 2 classes at once. one is an online class and one is a "go to class" class. I've been praying for a while that God will help me do this. Taking more than about 3 summer classes is sort of an ordeal because summer classes are very fast paced and you have to attend them practically every day of the week. well, i got an answer from God this weekend about my classes. God wants me to take it easy and not worry about graduating so soon. I will be dropping the "Go to class" class and keeping the online class. I was originally very upset about not graduating next summer because it means more money for school, more money for daycare and just less time till i am earning money. However, I know this is God's will and not mine and I'm learning to be okay with that. I'm not normally a "go-with-the-flow" kind of person. I'm very much a planner, a list maker, a structured person. i get tense when i don't know exactly what we'll be doing and when. i think God is trying to loosen me up to let me know he makes the plans, not me.
viscous dogs?
okay, i was traumatized, i should not be criticized for poor spelling in times of great stress!!! Jonathan pointed out that a Viscous dog really should be nothing to be scared of because it would be all gooey and fluid. However, a Vicious dog might be frightening!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Okay, calm down...
Tonight i went outside with Jonas to turn on the sprinkler to water my flowers in the front yard since it hasn't rained in a few days. Jonas LOVES the sprinkler so i let him play for a little bit. not too much though because it was really close to his bed time. we went inside, i put him to bed and a little while later i went back outside to turn off the sprinkler. i got around the sprinkler and about halfway to the faucet to turn off the water when i hear a dog...a dog that sounds VERY close to me. (remember it's dark outside now) i turn and i see probably 2-3 feet from me a Dog, an angry dog, a snarling, bearing his teeth at me and barking dog...now, many may not know this about me, but i am TERRIFIED OF DOGS. a million thoughts went through my head at this moment. I'm about to die, this dog is going to eat me, then go inside and eat Jonas, i wonder if i can even scream, wait, don't let the dog know you're afraid, that's right, be brave, show no fear, dogs can smell fear, I was a stinking pot of fear let me tell you. i managed to squeek out "get out of here" and i waved my flimsy shaking arm to motion the dog out of my yard, all at the same time i'm trying to run backwards because lord knows i don't want to turn my back on this dog because then he WILL CERTAINLY eat me. After i yelled "get out of here", i saw the people 2 houses down from me coming out of their door and looking in my direction. They yelled to the dog "get over here, come on" and they whistled. the dog i guess went toward them because i'm a little fuzzy after that from all the tears rushing down my "oh so brave-show no fear" face. I made it safe back inside and i have never shaken and cried so hard in my life. I started to think of what could have been. What if Jonas had been in between that dog and me. Would i have walked toward the object of my greatest fear to save my son? would i have just frozen in fear? If i had shown that much fear in front of Jonas, would he be terrified of Dogs the rest of his life like me? (Jonas is Pretty good around dogs. he will hold his hand out to most dogs so he can pet them even if they are strange dogs, we're careful to not let him get to close to strange dogs though) I called Jonathan (He had not gotten home yet), and told him what happened. He told me i had to call the police and tell them. He said there is a leash law. I wasn't sure, and since the people had seen me, they knew what house i lived at, would they try to "get back at me" if they got in trouble? Jonathan convinced me to call the police. so i called police dispatch. i told the dispatcher what happened. He sounded confused as to why i was crying and breathing irregularly. he said "did the dog bite you?" i said "no, the dog hadn't touched me, i'm just REALLY afraid of dogs!" he said that's fine, there is a leash law and i can send an officer over there if you want. i said that would be great. so...a lady officer comes over and i tell her what happens. she said, yes, there is a leash law in Rutherford county and in Smyrna, so it's sort of a Double Leash law. and she said if the dog bared his teeth at me, that made it a "viscous" dog. and made it a more serious offence. I told her i didn't want anything to happen to that dog. i told her i was afraid the people would know who called the police and be mad at me for getting them in trouble. she said nothing would happen to them tonight, that they would get a warning to keep their dog on a leash and if it ever happened again that anyone called on their dog then they would get a ticket with a fine. So that made me feel a little better. I feel ashamed because i'm afraid of dogs sometimes. I love Bird's dog Magnum. I've gotten to know him, and i know what to expect from Magnum. I Know for a fact Magnum isn't going to bite me as long as i don't try to take anything from his mouth. I'll even play fetch with him as long as he drops the stick or ball on the ground in front of me so i don't have to take it from him. I'm generally okay with Uncle Randy and Aunt Ellen's dogs. They are pretty big German Shepards, but they barely even bark and they know not to jump up on people. They just smell me when i come in, and they leave me alone. My mind is just stuck on what would i have done if Jonas were out there with me when that dog came up...I have to get over this fear
Tonight i went outside with Jonas to turn on the sprinkler to water my flowers in the front yard since it hasn't rained in a few days. Jonas LOVES the sprinkler so i let him play for a little bit. not too much though because it was really close to his bed time. we went inside, i put him to bed and a little while later i went back outside to turn off the sprinkler. i got around the sprinkler and about halfway to the faucet to turn off the water when i hear a dog...a dog that sounds VERY close to me. (remember it's dark outside now) i turn and i see probably 2-3 feet from me a Dog, an angry dog, a snarling, bearing his teeth at me and barking dog...now, many may not know this about me, but i am TERRIFIED OF DOGS. a million thoughts went through my head at this moment. I'm about to die, this dog is going to eat me, then go inside and eat Jonas, i wonder if i can even scream, wait, don't let the dog know you're afraid, that's right, be brave, show no fear, dogs can smell fear, I was a stinking pot of fear let me tell you. i managed to squeek out "get out of here" and i waved my flimsy shaking arm to motion the dog out of my yard, all at the same time i'm trying to run backwards because lord knows i don't want to turn my back on this dog because then he WILL CERTAINLY eat me. After i yelled "get out of here", i saw the people 2 houses down from me coming out of their door and looking in my direction. They yelled to the dog "get over here, come on" and they whistled. the dog i guess went toward them because i'm a little fuzzy after that from all the tears rushing down my "oh so brave-show no fear" face. I made it safe back inside and i have never shaken and cried so hard in my life. I started to think of what could have been. What if Jonas had been in between that dog and me. Would i have walked toward the object of my greatest fear to save my son? would i have just frozen in fear? If i had shown that much fear in front of Jonas, would he be terrified of Dogs the rest of his life like me? (Jonas is Pretty good around dogs. he will hold his hand out to most dogs so he can pet them even if they are strange dogs, we're careful to not let him get to close to strange dogs though) I called Jonathan (He had not gotten home yet), and told him what happened. He told me i had to call the police and tell them. He said there is a leash law. I wasn't sure, and since the people had seen me, they knew what house i lived at, would they try to "get back at me" if they got in trouble? Jonathan convinced me to call the police. so i called police dispatch. i told the dispatcher what happened. He sounded confused as to why i was crying and breathing irregularly. he said "did the dog bite you?" i said "no, the dog hadn't touched me, i'm just REALLY afraid of dogs!" he said that's fine, there is a leash law and i can send an officer over there if you want. i said that would be great. so...a lady officer comes over and i tell her what happens. she said, yes, there is a leash law in Rutherford county and in Smyrna, so it's sort of a Double Leash law. and she said if the dog bared his teeth at me, that made it a "viscous" dog. and made it a more serious offence. I told her i didn't want anything to happen to that dog. i told her i was afraid the people would know who called the police and be mad at me for getting them in trouble. she said nothing would happen to them tonight, that they would get a warning to keep their dog on a leash and if it ever happened again that anyone called on their dog then they would get a ticket with a fine. So that made me feel a little better. I feel ashamed because i'm afraid of dogs sometimes. I love Bird's dog Magnum. I've gotten to know him, and i know what to expect from Magnum. I Know for a fact Magnum isn't going to bite me as long as i don't try to take anything from his mouth. I'll even play fetch with him as long as he drops the stick or ball on the ground in front of me so i don't have to take it from him. I'm generally okay with Uncle Randy and Aunt Ellen's dogs. They are pretty big German Shepards, but they barely even bark and they know not to jump up on people. They just smell me when i come in, and they leave me alone. My mind is just stuck on what would i have done if Jonas were out there with me when that dog came up...I have to get over this fear
Sunday, May 25, 2008
I heard Dave Ramsey the other day on the radio and he asked the Question, "Who do you work for?" he was alluding to the fact that most people work for Ford Motor Credit, or Visa, or Mastercard, or for their bank to pay the mortgage etc. I was thinking, that we aren't in any debt besides our house and even that payment isn't that bad because we've been very blessed. so i thought since I don't have a job. Who Does Jonathan work for? Then i realized, Jonathan works for me and Jonas. He wakes up, goes to school, and teaches willing and unwilling learners (mostly unwilling this time of year) for me. he wouldn't have to work so hard if i had a job now. I could get a job now, but more than anything right now, i want a degree so i can get my dream job. Jonathan has talked about wanting to go to get his doctorate. He's talked about going to get more certifications...we can't afford that right now because I'm going to school. So i decided, Jonathan works for me. Jonathan likes what he does, but almost no one loves going to work every day. but still Jonathan does. Thank you Jonathan for working for Jonas and me. I love you so much.
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